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🍏 She’s single. She’s tart. And she’s swiping. 🍎 Granny Smith never thought she’d be navigating the produce aisle of online dating, but here she is, scrolling through CoreMatch, dodging juice-cleansing narcissists and flavourless charmers in search of something real. 🍏If you love quirky romance, orchard drama, and fruit with feelings, read on. The Dating App-le Granny Smith said a quick prayer and hoped her next crush wouldn’t be another rotten apple. She never thought she’d be single long enough to download a dating app, but here she was, scrolling through CoreMatch, the hottest dating app in the produce aisle. She’d been single since her orchard days, and online dating was supposed to be as easy as pie. Everyone said it was simple. Instead, it was more like wading through applesauce, slow, sticky and faintly humiliating. She took a breath and started again. #ShortFiction #AbsurdHumour #OffbeatFiction #SatiricalWriting #ChuckSuave-Author. www.chucksuave.com

If you like your fiction strange, sharp, and impossible to pigeonhole — welcome. I write short stories and novellas that blend satire, surrealism, psychological tension, and the occasional supernatural wrong turn. Sometimes funny. Sometimes brutal. Sometimes quietly emotional. You’ll find: – Short fiction that refuses to play by genre rules – Flawed, unstoppable characters with pasts that won’t stay buried – Gritty crime, absurd comedy, speculative twists, and nostalgic gut-punches A lot of my readers enjoy Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Ray Bradbury, David Sedaris — and crime fiction in the Jack Reacher / Bosch / Alex Kava vein. Here’s a very short example of what I do: “Eureka,” I said. “We’ll build a sheep cloud catapult.” “Never heard that one before,” he replied. We argued through designs, rejecting each one as too flimsy, too cruel or too likely to break international cloud-launching laws. Then it clicked. “It has to be made of clouds.” Under my directions, he conjured a mist-powered launchpad. We loaded our bravest volunteer, Dennis. I yelled, “Fire!” Dennis soared, a comet of fluff and hope. For a moment, he hung in the air. Then he popped into glittering mist that drifted down on us. The sheep clouds gasped. “Note to self: cloud aerodynamics need work,” I said. Chaos broke out. Sheep clouds collided like bumper cars. One formed a lasso, grabbed a rock and hurled it at the shepherd. Another twisted into a protest sign: LEGS FOR CLOUDS! A third typed an angry email to the Dream Authorities. I had made things worse. The sky darkened. Real storm clouds descended like angry parents. “They don’t look pleased,” the shepherd said. If that works for you, subscribe to my page. I post short fiction, story fragments, and early looks at new novellas. #ShortFiction #WeirdFiction #SurrealStories #AbsurdHumour #SpeculativeFiction #SatiricalWriting #DarkHumour #OffbeatFiction # FlashFiction #strangeStories #UnusualFiction #ChuckSuaveAuthor

✨ Introducing Limoetry: Chuck Suave’s Three-Verse Limerick Stories ✨ Step into the whimsical world of Limoetry, a fresh literary format from Chuck Suave, where storytelling meets poetic rhythm. These three-stanza limerick tales are playful, mischievous, and emotionally resonant, blending humour, rhythm, and visual charm in a way that’s uniquely Chuck. 🎭 Whether you’re a fan of genre-bending fiction, illustrated poetry, or quirky short stories, Limoetry delivers a delightful twist with every verse. Each piece is crafted to evoke laughter, curiosity, and a touch of magic, perfect for readers who crave creative storytelling with bounce and rhyme. 📚 This new writing direction celebrates the fusion of limerick structure, poetic cadence, and visual storytelling. It’s part of Chuck’s ongoing mission to create emotionally resonant, genre-blending, and artful narratives that connect and inspire. 🚀 Want a sneak peek? Check out Limoetry:  Limoetry – Chuck Suave. #Limoetry #ChuckSuaveStudio #LimerickStories #IllustratedPoetry #IndieAuthor #CreativeWriting #ShortStoryMagic #PoeticNarratives #GenreFusion #ChuckSuaveAuthor #RhythmicStorytelling #WhimsicalFiction #PoetryWithPersonality #ReadersOfFacebook #NewWritingProject #CreativeJourney

My first competition success. Runner-up in the adult fiction section of the Falkirk Writing Rammy. Move over Neil Gaiman… Douglas Adams… David Sedaris ….. There’s a new kid on the block lol